Danger UXB
Hadley USC
We played one of these last night but I am not sure which one as I am easily confused.
Most of the pre-game chatter was centred around Brummies’ love for standing on greens during large events, during league games, before games and just generally. If you wander into Kings Heath Park at night after the gates have been locked you will often find 20-30 bowlers aimlessly standing there. It’s an addiction we just can’t break. Each county has their own foibles though. It’s Like keeping Ferrets down your trousers, picking sprouts you don’t eat, marrying your sister or spending the day checking where all the plates in Debenhams are manufactured.
The second hot topic of conversation was The Midlands Masters and the newly formed Staffordshire post code lottery to fill their spaces. Due to lack of entries, Fiona Philips (who once had a career annoying people on morning TV) will draw 5 postcodes at random and any bowler living in that post code gets entry into this year’s Masters. After falling asleep and missing out on a guaranteed place, John Newey is busy buying up every house for sale in the Staffordshire area. Winning the Midland masters would go a long way to securing him that prized call up to the staffs county team.
On now to the game against Carter USC. No, Danger USM. Ah sod it, who cares!
First Ade was the earliest finisher today but unfortunately for Ade and us it wasn’t a positive result with the opponent bowling superbly throughout.
Stuart Jones has been going through a rough patch recently but bowled very well for the most part tonight and pulled out some great shots at the death to win 21-19
After the Horror of Kings Norton shook Nicks very faith in the physics of bowls he took a few weeks to recover but back on the terra firma of Woodfield grass his class returned as he romped home, winning 9.
Having recently looked into his family tree, Lyndon realised he has some Dutch blood coursing through his veins. Add this to his beards hostile takeover of the air surrounding it and his name change to Lyndon Van Winkle is just a formality. His rumoured move to darts is unconfirmed at this time but after today’s performance it wouldn’t surprise me. Lyndon limped home 21-19.
Nick Wyer was solid racking up yet another win and continues to prove he is more than Just Jamie’s Brother.
Nick Neweys brother started badly against Jamie Elliot but came back strong with one of his cranky marks to win 21-14 and surely seal yet another MVP and edge ever closer to being parachuted in as Staffs county saviour.
I won in what I thought was a reasonable game against a very pleasant chap
Chris Marshman had the pleasure of a rematch with Chris Simpson and at 20-19 up he was potentially sitting two down for game. After much prevarication, Chris eventually asked Dave if it was one or two and seemed disappointed with the answer. It was probably one which denied Mr Marshman the chance to play a game winning boster, but still he did manage to get everyone watching as he played the perfect bowl to win the game. Show off.
While enjoying a pint and pork pie, Nick intimated that Hadley were going to give me MVP. Quick as a flash, the lesser Newey brother asked what it would take to get that MVP off me. Before I had a chance to react and ask for an MG he was off. Seconds later what appeared to be the gremlin who dressed as Marylyn Monroe had appeared and perched on my knee twirling its hair, blowing kisses at me and tracing its finger nails across my rippling Muscles. It was a mighty fine effort but whoever his source was gave him some duff info. I was always a Jane Russell Boy and along with everything else in them the MVP was staying in my pocket thank you kindly.
A 9-1 win by 28 shots was a pretty good return for the night considering the weather and the fact they picked me
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