Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Captain Cragger's end of Season Awards!

Luckiest moment of the year the contenders

Wiggy's strike on lea hall where he hit his 4 yard wide lead and ran the block.

Wiggy's "shake hands i have lost oooo what happened there i have won" moment

Wiggy's draw on at least 14 occasions

The winner goes to Wiggy for us allowing him back after the Moseley tried to bury him under the green.

Nickname of the year

Chris Greenhill - Killer, Bungee, Bungee Killer

Cat Crane - Dora the explorer and latterly Dora the informer

Chris and Neelesh - Team Dodgewana , Dodgetanion and Wooleywana

The winner - Cat Crane with Dora the explorer

Stroker of the year was a 1 horse race won by Jack Savage who's stroking of his balls at home is so legendary he even shared them on snap chat. Here we see Jack at last years presentation

Movie bad ass of the year

Scott Taylor goes William Money and insults the raven threatening to burn down the pub and kill their pets (Allegedley!!-Ed)

Wiggy goes all Travis Bickle and asks shard end if they are talking to me (That ones true, I was there - Ed)

Chris Greenhil goes all Liam Neeson from all the Taken films, vowing a bloody revenge and torture upon someone for talking to his bowls. (That happened at least 11 times! - Ed)

The winner, for sheer menace and being more up to date in his referencing, Chris Greenhill

Caterer of the year is a straight fight between the pub and JP

JP takes it by unanimous decision120 -108 120-108 120 -108

Supporter of the year

Scotts sterling work in the seniors and juniors and having to sit through 1 and a half painful over 60's home games.

Jacko's pained screams that sounds like he is giving birth

JP's attendance at every game the Olton are playing.

The winner is JP for attending 214 games this year even ones he didn't know were on and he'd just come to have a sit down.

Crappiest appearance at a bowls game -

Chris Greenhill's impossibly dirty trainers

Jack's basildon bond ensemble

Jacks 12 year old straight from football look

The winner - Jack and his shorts and football socks with no trainers ensemble

Tag team of the year


The Chuckles

the twins in the carvery

Due to the twins no longer working at the pub, tag team champions of the world have been declared as The Chuckles

Club men/ladies of the year

Lesley Christmas

Maggie wooley

Karen Burton

The winner - Lesley Maggie and Karen all win for paying full subs just to play a handful of games mostly for little reward but never letting anyone down and hopefully enjoying every minute.

Captain of the year

PG- tips 1 promotion

CJ- promotion and stealing a cup final

Rocky- champions

Wiggy - picked a side occasionally

Craig - Genius

a surprise winner with CJ stealing the trophy and shuffling off at a very low speed.

Jack of the year

Jack Savage

Eddie priestner

Another shock win with Eddie winning best Jack of the year for his double attempt at returning a jack to the green and managing to strike the lean-to roof.

Nominations for King of the Taylors

Scott Taylor – Number 12, chief supporter, role model for Chris Greenhill and paladin tank, beat both Craggers and CJ in one day .

Craig Taylor – Club captain, Saturday Premier Captain, Thursday A Captain, counsellor, confidant, motivator, blog writer and god damn handsome man

Taylor Swift – Pop princess, warbler, Katy Perry Feuder , Nice legs

The Winner Scotty for beating the club captain by the terribly underhand tactic of turning over.

Renovation of the year

The ladies toilets – lighting, painting, water proofing Neelesh worked tirelessly for the ladies of the club

The borders – Plants provided by Chris James , Rocky, The Chuckles, Dave Hosgood , Produced by Dave Lowe Dave Hosgood and Rocky. Directed By Rocky

The steps that lead to nowhere – Craggers noticed the steps were in disrepair and selflessly used his wood to knock them back into shape.

The Winner Craig’s raging fury

Twerk of the Year

Nicky Minaj - anaconda

Miley Cyrus - all day everyday

Iggy Azalea and Jennifer Lopez – in a new video I didn't watch with the sound up

The winner is Craig Taylor for shaking his pert buttocks in the beer garden leaving his fans clamouring for more while throwing underwear and room keys at him.

T Shirt of the Year

Craig Taylor is the only nomination as he wore an incredible assortment for every game, but for sheer geekery this is the winner :-)

End Game

As the acorns fall to the ground and the leaves are swirled by my autumnal wind, the realisation dawns that this is the final day of the season and what an anti climax it proved to be. With the side already being crowned champions we went to Lea Hall and played with a listlessness and lethargy. It wasn't a conscious "ah it doesn't matter any more" type performance but i think emotionally we were spent and the adrenaline had gone somewhat.

Lea Hall bowled the green very well but we toiled and laboured with nobody really putting a full game together. After four we were 23 down without a winner. The second four mustered two winners but dropped ten shots as did the final four all in all it was a performance to forget and move on from.

As we were having the tea, which Bungee rated at 4 Chris Greenhills

despite the Curry being a little mild for his tastes, 8 county bowlers showed up not realising they were too late to watch Lode lanes finest. Thankfully the good people of Lea Hall put some impromptu competition on to keep them from rioting. I have no clue what was going on but it appeared the Greville won. In the stands the crowed were getting Rowdy - Savo declared them all rubbish and any of The tavern would have qualified (I guess he hadn’t watched much of the game earlier). During one discussion over how bad or good Paul Rodgers is as a singer, normally mild Mannered lord Lowe lost it over Chuckle's assertion that Rodgers was a better bowler than singer and managed to plant one on Scotty soiling his regal hands on a commoner in the process. The Joke is on Dave though as if he had seen Paul’s performance for Greet in the Yardley and District cup final in 91 he would have to agree with Scott. Besides Paul Rodgers told me just last week how much he can’t stand Lowey.

Division five was never going to be able to contain the Tavern squad we had this year and hopefully four wont be able to either. We have, however, had a few hiccoughs we need to eliminate going forward.

We lost two close away games at the Bell and Marsh lane and we should have put those games to bed long before the end and yesterdays game was a one off but we had several games at home that we should have added another 20 plus to. We have had a great year and should rightly be proud of ourselves but we have to look honestly and objectively at what hasn't worked and when things haven't gone to plan and strive to improve.

Congratulations to Wiggy on going 20 games unbeaten and winning the divisional averages. He has taken some stick over who he has played but he doesn't chose the number(well, not all the time just the odd occasion) and the last two weeks were wins over good bowlers and he has deserved the accolades and plaudits he will get at the awards dinners - he may not enjoy playing number 1 every week next year as much.

Its time now to look forward to next year have a pleasant winter come back refreshed with a renewed vigour for bowls and as soon as the green opens we can get practising this was the easy year things get tougher from now on in and we all need to improve our games.

Player round up

Alan Savage

Alan had the distinction of having a better away record than home one this season and played for 4 promoted sides, winning two championships and 1 cup before calling it a day early to hit the showers first and use up all the hot water

Dave Hosgood

Wiz was apparently worrying for his place in the A team at the start of the year but was always part of the plans. big wins at the Forget Me Not and the Raven helped get the season of to a flyer and bowled well throughout the season.

Chris Greenhill

An able deputy for captain Parental Guidance tips in the triumphant Tuesdays, but it was the selection of Chris that appeared my most controversial decision. I am happy to say though Chris grew as the season progressed and now is an integral part of the team. His temper needs managing but his bowling has come on leaps and bounds always prepared to listen and desperate to improve.

Jack Savage

The home loving left hander has had another fine home campaign. His fine run at home is almost mirrored by his disastrous away record, however. Jack's willingness to improve this will surely bear fruit next year and with a job with more sociable hours hopefully on the horizon we could soon broaden his away day horizons and hopefully improve his fortunes.

John Price

JP joined this year and has been a vital cog in everything the side has done and bought into and changed helped change the ethos of the whole club. His presence has added much needed experience to the middle four and his form at home has been amazing considering his lack of time on the green.

Richie Dingley

Despite playing once a week playing with cranky bowls and missing several games, Richie kept pulling out the cards home and away for a plus of over 100. When Richie clicks its frightening what he is capable of.

Larry Goodridge

Larrys consistency made him the obvious choice as a number 1 this year home or away. His performances were brilliant and it took some amazing performances to get the better of him. A reassuring figure to be on the green at the same time with.

Chris Downes

Chris started in the B team and wasn't sure if he would be bowling at all this year but seemed more assured and confident with each game if he can continue his rise back to the talent he was i am sure and even more successful year will come his way next season.

Chris James

A bowler of rare skill and touch chris is always a pleasure to bowl with and capable of some woods even more mouthwatering than JP's cobs. A bowler of beautiful bowls and the classiest bowler in the club. His back two tandem this year with Scotty worked wonderfully.

Graham Wiggins

Wiggy had a fine year on a Saturday winning all the games he was available to play and finishing with a whopping plus off over 190. the man has no mercy no soul and is as much of a bowling machine as he is a ****. A great performance all year and his determination and single mindedness to achieve marks him out from the pack.

Scott Taylor

The best twelve i have played with. For such an emotional man who feels he has let the side down whenever anyone scores let alone beats him to be so good at number 12 is crazy. His performances when required at the Green Man and Queslett were of the highest quality.His support and work around the green is the major reason you have me as captain but I'm not sure if that's a plus or not. Scotty also battled through the end of the season to his own personal detriment but to the clubs advantage.

Saturday, 20 September 2014

A Christmas Miracle

You may all recall one of our first blog posts where I recounted our trip to a quaint little place in Marston Green.

Regular readers will remember that the highlight of the evening was my trip home in a certain club members car. When I threw my woods on the back seat I was treated to some eastern european swearwords from the back set as I had disturbed a family of immigrants. The 7 of them had jumped in the back seat some 6 months ago in an attempt to get into the country but couldn't get out because of all the rubbish. Luckily, they had survived on half drunk coke and packets of crisps.

Anyway, said bowler's other half has bitten the bullet and tried to clear the back seat. After 6 weekends, the assistance of the 1st Armoured Brigade, and a full bottle of Mr Muscle, look at the result!!

Now I do not believe in outing people on a public forum, but if KAREN JAMES does not keep this car in this state, I will be forced to name you!!

The Alf Powell Cup

The Alf Powell cup is a rare thing in that its a memorial trophy for a member that 90% of the club remember well and all have a story or a memory off. Whether it be the mirror falling on his head and him being told not to accept anything from the pub, before he greedily accepted a compensatory pint of mild within seconds, or having to do his braces up during a game Alf was a one of a kind and it is nice to play for a cup in his memory.

14 people showed up which considering we had a few away and some drunk - Killer we are looking at you - is a good turnout.

The first round saw Karen conquer BA after she conned him into flying.

Eddie saw off a spirited comeback from Dave Evans to extend his afternoon further.

Andy beat birthday boy MaggieWooleywanna and didn't buy him a card.

I beat chad who has improved at an amazing rate and will surely improve even more next year with regular bowls.

Scotty mercilessly beat the old man.

Pete Greenhill was having an epic encounter beating Lord Lowe of Olton.

Chris Downes and club champion Stevey M had received a bye and were in the same half of the draw as the second battle of the Taylor's. Chris beat Steve after a tight game and Scott beat the best Taylor 21-20. I want a rule brought in for internal competions - turn overs only count as half a point especially when it allows you to avoid a remarkably hard mark over the crown. Congratulations goes to Scotty who wins the King of the Taylor Tournament, next year their could be a couple more to beat.

in the other, far easier, half of the draw Pete beat Andy and Karen won through against Eddie.

In the first Semi Scottty and Dodge played a high quality game with Dodge getting the vital final run late in the game to seal his place in the final.

Pete and Karen were bowling an exceptionally tight game with Karen cursing her luck as pete advanced.

Pete and Chris swapped runs with the block in the first half of the game until Chris found a very tricky little mark too control the second half. Commiserations Pete and congratulations Dodge who capped off an excellent weekend.

To all those reading the work on the green will start on the 26th off September so we may hopefully - weather permitting - be able to get together again next Sunday.

Please don't forget our presentation night tickets are available from the committee. It has been a hugely successful season so we would love to see as many people as possible there. If anyone is interested in coming to the WWCBA presentation please let us know as soon as possible - the tickets are £5 and will need to be ordered Asap.

Do not despair at the thought of a Long winter without updates. There are plenty of things going on and ill try to keep you as informed as you are entertained.

The Final Home Game

The Final Home game of the season had rolled around and it couldn't help feeling a little anti climactic. Having secured promotion sometime in the summer (probably after the second game - Ed) and already having been crowned champions there wasn't much riding on the visit of a very experienced Lea Hall side.

With no junior game the green was awash with spectators - unfortunately due to my whisky providing exploits they were awash with alcohol and with the sun, party atmosphere and a happy music background from lowey's favourite band The National it was almost like Mardi Gras, just minus the boobs and beads.

A selection of hangers on, there only for the Whisky

In all honesty it wasn't one of our better home performances but after the season we have had these games need to be taken as a blip. Our focus should be on next year and continuing our success and growing the club for the future.

First to the green playing his last game of the season was Larry and, while it has been another excellent year for our Yam Yam friend, he started far too late in this game getting to 14 after a late run.

Wiggly was on at number two and while he has had a lot of stick for some of his opponents this year today he certainly didn't get the draw. It was nip and tuck for Wig until i came off and my calm assured guidance seemed to soothe his nerves, allowing him to run out from 15-13 down. if the roles were reversed i think its fair to say Wiggly would have been booing me but i am safe in the knowledge that i am the bigger man. Despite his performance he did remind us of yet another reason the Moseley eighty-sixed the goon - at the end of the game, Wiggy was clapping like a drunk sea lion trying to balance a ball on his nose and shouted "well done Steve still undefeated". Under normal circumstances that would be the mildly annoying sort of behaviour that always comes from wiggy. What was particularly callous about this episode was that not only did wiggy mark Steve's card he measured his last end and got the call wrong leading to Steve's heartbreaking loss to 17.

I was on at number 3 and the game was unremarkable but very pleasant until Jayne requested a break to take a tablet and promptly went on a run of six shots from 18-7 down. I was miffed to say the least but Wiggys smirk suggested he was in on the ruse and you can't stay mad at him for long not with that dumb innocent grin of his. I regained my composure and won to 13. I would also point out at this point if you don't drink whisky don't try it directly before a game and need three attempts to pick your mat up on the first end.

Dave Hosgood is finding form at the worst possible time with his second 21-5 win of the week again just missing out on the extra sweep.

22 up after 4

Jack continued his home habit of racing into a big lead then getting pegged back at the end Jack this time managing to win 14

JP once again proved a bostin Cob maker but never really got to grips with the pace of the green losing 14

JP spots someone eating his cob - amused he is not

Richie had a game of runs and was facing a heavy defeat before something clicked and he went on a run nudging him home 21-20.

The stark reality that he is a late replacement from the Juniors and has drawn a former county player hits Shredder's opponent

Steve as mentioned earlier lost his first senior game of the season to a very creditable 17.

26 up after 8

Killer kicked of the back four in knockout style rampaging home 21-3. Bungees opponent did not appear happy to be playing at all and in tribute to killer kicked his woods all the way home.

Dodge continued his fine weekend following up the winning of the oft delayed Toyota doubles with Neelesh by winning his game 21-9

Chris James won to single figures yet again bowling superbly this time winning 21-2

Scotty rounded out the twelve with possibly his worst performance for a long time but still scrapped up to 17 to leave the winning margin at 65.

The gaffer tried out a new tea for the end of the season and it appeared he is a big fan of Peter Andre or Len Goodman by the standard of the food that was provided.

Killer didn't engage the Bungee and walked off in disgust after 1 plate. This tea gets one Chris Greenhill

Monday, 8 September 2014

The Day we won the league, and hello to Mr Phil Brown

With the juniors off safe and early on their crusade for promotion, all attention at home turned to securing the title at the first chance we could. Scott was taking his paladin act to the British oak and had taken intimidating shout with him but we were determined not to let the bulwark's omission from the side let us lapse in to bowling in a library.

I hadn't completed the draw and i was already missing him - i was thirsty for a start and the bar is sooooo far away. I was also missing his board filling skills as today's board was half scribbled by Killer while Steve's half was much more measured in his calligraphy but it did mean i was off before the board was completed.

First to the green was Larry and he had an awkward game against the ever enthusiastic Alan Francis. Larry was always a few behind and couldn't break away from Alan until the death when he managed to put a small run together winning 18.

I was up next and first off winning to 4.

Wiggly's recent run had been a little rocky as the undefeated streak and the chase for the averages had appeared to start to take its toll. To not put undue pressure on him it was felt we should go on at the same time, which leads us to reason number, oh god i can't count that high, that Wiggly was thrown from the Moseley in a trebuchet - with the averages in the balance, Wiggly looked up and saw i was 14-1 up and like Dick Dastardly plotted to cut me up, putting his jack exactly where i had been bowling and then spraying his woods around so badly i was almost forced to bowl into the beer garden.

Here we see Wiggly Dastardley and his best buddy Jackley, errrm, I mean Muttley

If he continues to feel the heat next week, Wiggly intends to go all Hooded Claw on me and get the bully brothers to kidnap me. Heyelp! Heyelp!. At 16- 6 up Wiggly asked me how i had finished - the blood drained from his face and his knees began to knock as his arm skipped the jelly stage and become blancmange, stumbling across the line winning 12

Dave Hosgood was facing a late replacement and while she played well Dave was on fire bowling some exceptional stuff to win five

After four we were 45 up and i was apparently wearing to much orange and it was clashing with my pink and neon purple top. Apparently pink is my colour and i should wear more of it.

Jack was up at five and bowled some good stuff to take a 10-1 lead. His opponent doggedly stuck in there however, and with Jacks concentration faltering the game rumbled on a few ends longer than Jack would have liked before he won to 13.

JP, it has emerged, has favourites and has been providing more than excellent quality cobs to some members of the side. It now turns out that pork pie has been spotted changing hands and i am not amused as I love pork pie. Jp was enjoying the pacy conditions considerably more than his opposite number and came of winning well 21-2.

Steve was hoping to maintain his unbeaten run and went about it in a much less farcical fashion than Mr Wiggins. Once again Steve bowled impressively to defeat a very good Alex Buchan to 16

After 8 we were 89 up. My clothes were still clashing but god damn my beard was looking fine.

The Bungie Killer was having a nip and tuck game and, even though he was itching to get into a row as Scottys designated arguer, he held his nerve and temper to put together a great run to win 9.

Richie showed form reminiscent of his county days, with his woods constantly caressing the block like Jacko caresses the face of his young uncertain lovers - just before they say how dare you and slap him. Richie was simply brilliant winning 3.

Savo was on ten and had a bad day at the office. Although Jackie did bowl well Sav just wasn't his normal self. Savo has played a lot of bowls this year and with the exception of Wiggies Wednesdays every side Sav has played for has gone up. He has more than earned an early bath for the season to recharge for next year. Sav rallied late to finish with 11

Jaymo was Jaymo. Adrian had a fair game, in fact he bowled well, but Chris is a beautiful bowler and capable of exquisite things and today was one of those days winning 21-4.

Dodge was at Scotty's anchor position and with big shoes to fill Chris stood tall and bowled a belter. Each good wood was welcomed with a booming wall of noise, while the occasional loose shot was greeted with Chants for Scotty to return. Chris though loves the atmosphere and powered on to record a great win over a very good bowler 21-11

11 winners and a win by 124 was a great performance. I think it was a little harsh on the Warstock who i didn't think played that badly, but with confidence high and some pace in the green it was always going to be a good day for us. The Warstock played their part thoughout, producing a wonderful friendly atmosphere and I hope they enjoyed the day.

Killers Grub round up - The tea at the Olton is okay, its nothing special and not worth the cash but it is far from the worst i have ever eaten but to Chris it was a veritable banquet. A bounty of delights. A cornucopia of treats that were so enticing he had to climb on the furniture several times to get more morsels on his ever growing plate. For the benefit of those not having had a tea at the Olton, the plates are a standard size, it's the ones they use for the carvery, a good sized plate if I'm honest. That size just doesn't cut it for our Chris though as he opens his bag up and comes over all Alan Partridge pulling out a plate of his own with some two inches extra diameter. 3 Killers out of ten.

The Alliance side fell agonisingly short away at the British Oak. If it does prove that we stay in Division 3, however, the side should still be proud of the way they have bowled and conducted themselves all season. The club is still on a learning curve and next year will be our year of that i have no doubt.

At today's Crossfield Cup final it was confirmed we have a North Midlands readership! Step forward Phil Brown it is a pleasure to have you viewing. It should also be noted that Phil's county record makes him the best confirmed bowler to be reading the blog. If you are from Staffs, Shropshire or further afield and read drop us a line on the blog, twitter or facebook. It's nice to know who all 3 of the readers are. Also if you think you are a better bowler than Phil and want to be crowned the Blog readers best bowler stake your claim now. We may also expand our bowls blog next year and visit a few places, so if youd like a visit from The Chuckle Brothers - the talented ones not the two old fools from the telly - let us know!

The Olton win a cup!

The Thursday B side were aiming to cap off their fine season with a victory in the consolation cup. Bold (or is it Bald) Captain CJ had been ruthless bringing, PG tips back into the pot and leaving Fast Eddie Priestner on the sidelines in the only change from the Semi Final.

A tricky Wythall green and the Colebrook was what stood before them and a pot, although looking around the side most of our players are carrying a pot or two around with them already.

A large crowd showed up to watch and i am pleased to say a good number of those were Olton bowlers who either wanted to cheer on the club or couldn't resist spending a few more hours in my delightful company.

Rocky was first man up and had a ding dong battle with Ben Cosnett. Rocky bowled it well and save for a few knock ups could have come off winning by a bigger margin than the 21-19.

Dodge had started slowly against Dennis Parks but kept himself in the game long enough to find the weight battling back to score 15 valuable shots.

Dave Evans continued his "show the club captain up by defeating everyone that has beaten Crags" this year with a strong performance winning 8 against Bob Jones.

Pete Greenhill bowled some very tidy bowls before ducking out to 18.

After 4 we were 6 18 when you factor in the Handicap.

Chris James was up next and after a tight start Chris began to show his class finishing with a victory to 9.

CJ was feeling the heat and struggling against Neville Hughes. Try as he might the Captain couldn't find his way back into the game losing to 7.

Savo had started strongly but a determined run by Richard Edwards had taken the game away from Sav and we were staring a bad card in the face. At the same time Wiggly was struggling as well and things were looking a bit ropey. Thankfully, Sav and Wiggly are made of stern stuff - Sav came roaring back from the dead to reach a very creditable 16 and Wiggly found a rich seam of luck to run out winning to 14. A victory by 6 six without the handicap

Craig tried to find an action shot of Captain CJ but the camera lens wasn't slow enough to pick him up. Instead, we have him taping on of Dave The Butcher's many sub 14 yard marks.

Crags was also tasked with capturing a team photo, and this is all he could manage. Lord Lichfield he ain't

And finally, the winning card held by the Captain Beefheart himself

The Club Captains Season in Review - Part 1 of 217

As Saturday Captain i have a lot of people to thank so far for the season being such a success. I will attempt a little review and season biography of everyone but for now this post will deal with the folk who have played less than 10 games in the A side.

Paul Buckley – Paul didn’t have the best of seasons, only running into form as the season drew to a close but in the A team Bucko still played his part in away wins at the Forget me not, Raven and the Queslett. Bucko also had the experience and honour of representing the parks county and playing in a cup winning side for the Towers. Being chosen as a representative is a massive honour and one Bucko has fulfilled admirably and we are proud of what he has achieved with them. I am sure next season we will see Buck back hammering people in his favoured corners.

Catherine Crane - Cat came in for the rearranged game at the Pheasant, although she had been penciled in to make her A team season debut weeks earlier (this was, however, scuppered by one of her holidays she manages to take fortnightly). A great performance against a top bowler at the tricky pheasant green shows that in the coming years not spent travelling she will be one of the back bones of the senior side. Cat also had a good season on a Thursday and has won a competition, carrying CJ to victory. She does avoid interviews though and can’t wait to spread tittle tattle to whoever has their phone on.

Karen James – Another to come in for the rearranged Sunday game and duly showed her worth with a win. Karen is one of the four or five players who have been unlucky not to get a run in the seniors this year. Timing has been against her and also with everyone winning consistently it has been near impossible for anyone to force themselves into the side. Karen has also impressed for a successful Tuesday side and helped to consolidate the Thursday A’s position in Div 3

Dave Lowe – Little Lord Lowe of Olton was a gentleman held together by string when I left some 15 years ago. Now that string has frayed but Mr Lowe continues to keep belligerently beating bowlers all the while complaining that he can’t do it anymore. A force of nature who helped deliver wins away at the Wernley and at Harborne before settling back into his role as elder statesman in the Juniors, racking up a great win loss record and plus in the process. Fitness willing Mr Lowe will be bringing his own brand of cranky shouts to a bowling green in Division 4 next year.

Andy Carter – The third in the trio who came over to the pheasant Andy has had his bowls season interrupted by work but has plugged gaps whenever he has been available on Saturdays, Tuesdays and Thursdays and when he hasn’t had a game has been there to support. Andy acquitted himself well at the pheasant losing to 12 and it is a big blow losing him as full time bowler but a bonus to still have him involved with the club. A massive thanks to Andy for giving up his Sunday off to travel to the Pheasant and hopefully we get to see more of you next year.

Henry Dingley - H played the first game of the season at home and unfortunately drew by far the most impressive player of the day for either side. In true H spirit though he doggedly battled back for valuable shots. A leg injury forced Henry to take a sabbatical from bowls but thankfully he is now back on the green and returning to form. H is the type of player that makes any side better and his return has helped the juniors in their bid for promotion

Graham Scarrott – Rocky is the embodiment of a club man, tirelessly working on the surrounds of the green, ready to pitch in with anything and bowl anywhere. Rock came into the side mid way through the season and was in all honesty a complete unknown to me but quickly made a big impression. Rocky can always be counted on for a strong card and his form for both A and B sides have been impressive. To add to this Rocky has spearheaded the successful over 60’s season and helped out wherever he could during the season.

Steve Myatt – I had said earlier how forcing your way into the side was nearly impossible but the Messiah makes everything possible. Coming into the side on a good run of junior form Steve promptly went on an epic run that at the time of writing is showing no signs of abating. Steve has managed this whilst organising the club as secretary and helping out captaining the Thursday A side whenever i haven’t been able to. Steve has also been a driving force working with the Reynolds Cross Students when they have visited.

Stay tuned for further reports - most of them hopefully not mentioning w****y

Monday, 1 September 2014

Wiggly The Big Drip

Saturday began with Mr Wiggly coming over all charitable and caring.

Wiggly has had some difficulty in donating as of yet,however. Something about his phone not working, not knowing what the charity was or having lost his wallet.

To be fair to Wigg he gets a fearful soaking from very cold water and while i have always thought his head was made of sponge, the amount of water that splashed on to my trainers proves it must just be hollow. The remarkable thing about this performance though is that it was by far the most sensible thing he did all day but much more of that in the match report.

The Warstock is a proud old club doing its best to survive in the harsh world of Bowls today. If buck Rogers thinks life was hard in the 25th century (it wasn't look at the cat suits those girls were wearing) then bowls in the 21st century is really harsh. Keeping the club together as they have for so long anywhere is an amazing achievement, but at The Stadium complex that charges and does very little to help is even harder. So kudos go to all the lads and ladies there.

None of our team really had played on the green either before or in the last 25 years at least and the role up helped little. With the role up complete and all of us scratching our heads about if the moss was running quicker than the non moss and whether the green is hard or not, we took to the green with hope in our hearts

I came of the green first, winning to six

On his return to the side, Larry tried his best to keep up with me coming off a few short minutes later with a win to 8.

The Messiah continued his undefeated run in the seniors making me look a complete fool for not picking him earlier, again winning to 8.

The Wiz rounded out a great start for us returning to winning ways with a good performance winning 16.

After 4 we were 46 up and in truth with the exception of Dave's opponent the Warstock first four hadn't put up much of a fight. With this start, the importance of the game in relation to the title and the state of the playing surface it made for a very odd last hour and a half.

Jack went on at five and played a lady. Jacko's record against the fairer sex is pretty abhorrent and this wasn't his finest hour either. While his opponent bowled well jack struggled with both his land and weight. Jacks hand eye coordination was so off when he tried to punch his mat that was only a foot away from his face he missed by 6 inches. Jack battled hard to get to 11 though and seemed to enjoy the company of the dog on the side afterward. The dog threw the ball for jack for hours without complaining. Jack also dressed like compo's grandson today.

The feeder JP burst into a lead bowling some impressive stuff before being pegged back late on. JP however rallied late to win 16.

At roughly the same time as Jack was melting down our other teenage tearaway Killer was having some stern words with himself. In fact he was talking to himself quite a lot - I am not sure which one of his personalities was in control at the time but i felt a lot safer when i had removed all sharp implements and hidden all the lighters.

At one stage Chris grabbed his head and jumped on the spot like an exaggerated Basil Fawlty. Thank god I left the Spanish waiter and the mini at home. Chris lost 15.

Richie was bowling corners with a Wayne Curran like precision and was rolling back the years to his county heyday. He then stupidly sent the block off and lost more than a handful of shots winning 16

After 8 we were now 40 up and looking wobbly.

Jaymo was going well but Sav and Wiggly were all over the place. The cavalry arrived however in the form of the last act of desperate supporters as cards were swapped and we never looked back.

Savo Battled back from the dead to get to 20 across for the 3rd time in 3 weeks. Sav, you will never go on last as your games last long enough as it is. With the night closing in we would like to get games finished. Sav lost the last end shoot out.

The Graham Wiggins Flying circus was up next. Wiggly, i am delighted you got home but its getting a little tiresome now and your show boating at the end was nothing short of disgraceful and i hope you are cringing in embarrassment as you read this. If you haven't made your donation yet my trainers are ruined so put it towards a new pair for me. At 20- 19 down, Wiggly sent a wood that looked good to the crowd but he turned and shook the hand of his opponent. Did Wig know something we didn't? Had he sent it the wrong bias? Nothing of the sort - the wood ran the block for two to leave him counting game and his opponent completely perplexed. Now we have a quiz question did he shake hands; A) because he is just a guesser and has no clue? B) He is just an unpleasant person and wanted to wound his opponent emotionally C) he has a rare from of shaking hands tourettes?

I will leave it up to you to decide but reason 4917.2 that the Moseley left Wiggy in a basket on the front steps at the Olton - A B and C also U N and T.

Jaymo was showing his class as always and completely oblivious to all the furore, beating the warstocks top man to 16.

Scotty wasn't finding the green to his liking and coupled with the Circus rolling into town struggled for consistency against his impressive opponent eventually succumbing to 13.

Not our greatest performance away and I'm not sure our flying start did much to help our back 8 but its a win away by 38 that leaves us one win from the championship with 3 games to play. More questions were raised which we will have to find answers for but as the side grows and evolves we will get them sorted and continue to improve.

Whilst talking about The Stadium I think it is a shocking shame that a venue that has potentially 3 great greens can't put a little more effort in to maintaining. With 3 greens in a short distance of each other they could run a huge one day or two day comp if they liked pulling in players and spectators from across the whole country

Ooooo i forgot one last thing before we go the Tea review sponsored by Killer. I thought the spread was a good one but noticed Chris only managed a few plates and strangely didn't pick at the cakes much at all. I am not sure if this was down to his mood, a distaste for egg sandwiches and lemon drizzle cake or he just felt it wasn't up to his high standards. Either way the spread got 2.5 plates from Chris but ill round it up to 3 just in case the cloud that followed Chris around yesterday suppressed his appetite.

Midweek Round Up - The last league games!!


Scott took the short walk from work to the Solihull RBL during his lunch hour to watch the Over 60's play. 4 winners saw the Olton home, leaving them with a very good chance of winning the league.

Usually a trip to Knowle is a lovely and pleasant evening, and whilst the majority of the side were lovely its always the minority ruining it for the rest. My opponent wasn't a happy camper as we had stacked the side with Division One players apparently - no idea who they are but if he points them out ill gladly pick them Saturday. Our game was even less enjoyable as he wouldn't tell me the bias, stood on my foot as i tried to bowl and wandered across the line and back again while i tried to bowl. What a terrible experience that was but ah well i beat him 7 so can't complain. The rest of the side as usual acquitted itself very well as we picked up yet another away win. I am informed Bungee Killer won the averages and celebrated by stealing some sweets off a baby and kicking the stick from underneath an old man on the way home. Unconfirmed reports suggest the old man was Lowey.


Nothing to report apart from Wiggy failed as a captain as usual by failing to find out who won the averages. As it happens i can inform you all I won them so all hail me. I missed out on the division averages by 1 shot, or by Buckos performance against Tony Williams, who did win them.


My Charges undertook a game without me as i was out on important business. The lads and Lasses did me proud however with a good home win against table topping Black Horse. After promotion last year we decided we would try to play the same side as much as possible and we have been rewarded with 190 points and a more than comfortable mid table position. Next year i am sure we will be looking to push on up the league and go for promotion to Division 2.

The B team, or the side that masquerades as a B team, are on Wythall in the cup final Thursday at 6.30. It would be great to see as many people as possible over there to support this young up and coming bunch.


No bowls related activity boooooooo