Midweek results.

Tuesday was boring. Team beat the Water Orton in the cup and I was abused by two dozy women. 

Wednesday was worse as we lost at The Valley. Green was very wet and only Chris James managed to win. The Mild in the club afterwards was flat as a fart. My track suit bottoms got so wet they kept falling down.

No pictures as weather too miserable. Here is a picture of a cat.

The Diary of Karen James aged 13 and three quarters

(This post has been translated from the original scouse by your editor - unfortunately it was beyond even me to make it funny!)

Row row row ya bowl gently down the green, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream - yes it was a very strange day around the green at Triplex.

We experienced light rain, sunshine, a little heavier rain then more sunshine and, just as the last couple were on the green, we had a final downpour but all in all with good bowling and great company we had a good day.

After a delay of half an hour our first four set out for battle.

Cat was our number one and was up against their averages leader and he was also fourth in the league averages. Cat played well with true Olton grit and lost to five.

Eddie our number two played a lovely young lady but Eddies focus and determination brought him a great win to nine.

Number three was Bob and he battled through not giving an inch and was beaten to 18 - a great game to watch.

Alan our number four struggled to get his length in the beginning (poor lad) but once he was back in his stride he fought hard only to lose twenty.

It was about this time that the heavens opened again - Oh! the joys of the English Summer, and the second four were not relishing the thought of going on to play.

Next was Messiah Steve who played well and won to twelve and we were closing the gap between our rivals.

Maureen had a good game losing to eleven but the score didn't reflect the game.

After being stalked on his phone all morning by team mates needing confirmation that we had a game to play, good old CJ put his age to one side and brought us another win to twenty.

As the green was getting slippier by the minute we were surprised to see a Boeing 747 had landed on the green - then everyone realised that it was Karen (Boeing? If it was Karen you should all have been booing! Ed) - in an effort to remove a bowl out of the line of another she inadvertently slipped and landed heavily on the green in all the lovely puddles. She arose with a red face and very soggy bottom - A Triplex spokesperson said that they may name the new dent in the green Jaymo's hole - Fame at last for Karen - grassy ass sorry spell check said it should be Gracias.

After the shock and turbulance Karen won to eleven.

We were now two in front on the board with the last four starting to filter on to the green - omg.... we got a chance here.... come on your Taverner's

John Lloyd lost to eighteen having a tough battle with his opponent.

Dave Lowe won to eleven and we needed it to bring up the energy levels for the remaining players.

Pete Greenhill after a rocky start stomped home to win to eighteen and we still had a chance of bringing home the win.

Last man standing was Paul Buckley. His opponent was hungry for the win knowing how close the match was and Paul was struggling to get his hands on that block.

There was a hush around the green and a whisper that Paul needed to get one more chalk for the draw and two for the win - omg.... omg..... cilla needed to calm down but was struggling to hold back her excitement.... COME ON YOU TAVERNER'S

He got the first one and we were sure that the second would follow but it was not to be, we needed to go another end of torment and as the end progressed and Pauls bowl settled and we realised that he had got it, there was a roar around the green because we had achieved our goal - Hooraaaaahhhhh

Now we just wanted Paul to leave the green a winner but that was not to be as the heavens once again opened with no mercy which was followed by hail stones and the green was flooded.

Not to soon after Paul came off the green losing to sixteeen.

Game finished on the night shift at 18:50hrs and our troups were exhausted.... from jumping up and down in the joyous feeling of victory.

The Lord said to Noah, "there's going to be a Floody Floody"

With Friday night's Bomber cup game cancelled and persistent precipitation all morning there was a serious danger of the game being called off. We arrived about half one and the green wasn’t too bad - some slight sweeping was needed but by two the green had mostly drained by itself.

The game started on time, but after 15 minutes the heavens opened and poured forth its contents upon our beleaguered heads, forcing all the games to run for the shelter and their pints. After discussions with the opposing captain it was agreed we would see how the sun - that was by now burning down and drying the ground - would effect the surface and make a decision from there. In half an hour most of the puddles had receded and we sent Wiggy on to sweep off the remainder. Unusually for the weather conditions the home team were champing at the bit to get on and the away team would rather have gone home for a cuppa and a dry out. The Tavern this year though seem to be a side with a purpose, full of confidence and enjoying their Saturdays far too much to have to lose one. That ans we had already paid for the tea.

With the game safely being played lets join the action after the rain break...

Jack restarted his game at 4-9 and still had his tracksuit bottoms tucked into his socks with a brutal beret adorning his bonce that thankfully covered his flock of seagulls inspired barnet. Jack was having one of his days where he heard all the rubbish from the side, ignored the stuff he should listen too and his brain gently boiled under the tea cosy he was wearing. He took off the hat, the excess vented through his ears and nostrils and from 13-17 he ran out to win 17.

Larry resumed at about six across and flew out of the blocks, scoring six quick fire twos to take the game away eventually winning 10. The rain delay made Larry slightly late for his carvery but meant he got first dibs on a fresh turkey - god works in mysterious ways.

Scotty lost the first few ends after the break but soon, albeit with one wood, found form to match Larry’s score with a victory to 10. Buoyed by his victory and feeling ten feet tall Scott turned into Hagrid, uprooted a table umbrella that was set in concrete and paraded around with it like it was a Japanese geisha's parasol.

Here is Hagrid, followed by a real Geisha's parasol.

Dave Hosgood returned to winning ways allowing 1 more shot than the carvery kid and Hagrid did rounding out an impressive and rock solid first four with a win to 11.

After four we were 36 up

I took to the green with very wet feet and a becalmed salmon pink with a hint of coral orange rugby shirt. I am proud of the Estonian heritage I have made up to go along with the Tallinn Tigers shirt and would like everyone to know that I am a distant relative of proud warrior old Thomas and we were European capital of culture in 2011. We house the headquarters for NATO Cooperative Cyber Defence Centre of Excellence (CCDCOE) and some giant bint dropped a bowler and cried to create lake Ülemiste. The OTBC Is Estonia’s favourite Bowls club and one day they will erect a statue of me there. I won to seven.

John Price proved not to be a puppet on Sandie Shaw's string, defeating the songstress to 11. Thankfully John didn’t have to resort to stepping on her toes and instead continued getting to grips with his new home green in impressive fashion.

Graham Scarrott came in as a late replacement for Richie and battled hard against a lady who already had a big win under her belt on the tavern this year. Rocky battled hard from 12-3 down to finish with a very respectable 15.

Number two in a 3 part series of crap hats was the other Savage. While not at his best the always mercurial Alan bowled wonder wood after terrible wood and eventually won to 17.

After 8 we had moved to 58 up

Killer Chris Greenhill responded to criticism that he isn’t ruthless enough with an impressive sweep wining performance 21-5, just missing out on the ever increasing 21-4 sweep. Chris also took my dinner money and spat in my drink - I thanked him.

Wigglies encounter was number 1 and 2 in the league averages. Not that you would have got that impression by watching the game. It was at this point Camp Scotty started turning the day into OTBC the musical. His delightful tones bashing out seminal 2 in a room 1990s hit wiggle it just a little bit. Wiggy will complain if I don’t put his score so all hail wonderful Wiggy yawn. Wig wins 11.

"Where is reason Seven?" I hear you cry? Well, it I didn't want to say this but I think Wiggly is a thief. When we thought we had to spike the green with a fork yesterday, Wiggy comes out with a combined spongey spikey thingamajig!! No wonder Moseley was called off yesterday - probably because Bill Kinchin couldn't find his spongey spikey thingamajig!

Popeye Chris James completed the trio of deplorable headwear and was seen picking his feet in Poughkeepsie - either nobody heard that shout or I am just operating on a different level. This was easily game of the day, with Chris having to pull out some great winners to keep ahead eventually winning to 11. This earned a serenae by Tenor Taylor with BOOM BOOM BOOM let me hear you say Jaymo. The Outhere brother happened to over hear from the beer garden and demanded 16p in royalties they were told to jog on in a very impolite manner.

Dodge and his wall of noise was charged with bringing up the rear and the red skull didn’t disappoint. It also shows the average age of the first team is getting younger as a pop culture reference had 3 of us getting the joke, up from last years record setting year of 1 person half getting a post 1960’s reference. Chris bowled very well in being another 21-10 winner. The final total a 98 shot win.

I would like to thank all the team for their attitude and commitment to the cause, to Wiggy for being a sweeping machine, the Downes' wall of noise - who may need to time things a little better but their support and enthusiasm has been wonderful, hopefully we can get one or two playing. Dave Hughes once again for bringing a little bit of Yorkshire to a game in Bob horns absence. Also a big thanks to my mother and friends,especially Linda who confessed to once having dated Gilly. To think he looked the same when he was 14.

Thanks to all in attendance and to the Marsh Lane for letting us get on with things without pressuring us one way or another.

Finally, a picture video of Wiggy - as close to the sweep as he ever gets. Boom Boom

Narcissus

Queslett? Queslett?

What exactly is a Queslett? A quick Google search informs me that its an area in Great Barr, although I think even I could have guessed that. The second entry informed me it means wood pigeon valley and has been in use since the sixteenth century. Of course Bucko and CJ should both remember when the area was so named as they would have been at school around then. The third entry simply read “ A bugger of a green”. As the game was a tight affair no-one thought to get their camera out for any action shots :-( The pictures sprinkled throughout this report come from the Google Image search for "Queslett"

The Olton Tavern record on the Queslett is something akin to a Max Bygraves song, the history of the Villa or one of CJ’s stories – no one wants to hear them. Combined with the green, unseasonal sunshine and their over 200 plus from the last 2 home games a lot of the team were not hopeful of victory. I however had and have faith in this group of men.

The day started badly when Larry goodridge informed me he wouldn’t be able to play. Apparently the tablets he has been taking have had the terrible side effect of turning him into Jack Douglas. Every time he bent down to bowl he would shout wahey and his arm would spasm. I told Larry he would still be better than the named reserve but he wasn’t having any of it. So with no Jack Douglas I turned to another Jack unfortunately this Jack has the bowling ability of Jack Duckworth, I wished he dressed like him though as the dresses would be an improvement over the painful semi naked snap chats he sends me.

I threw Jack straight on and all was going well until he sobered up. If jack showed more self restraint and discipline the night before a game and practised more humility he may well become the bowler he wants to be. Well, no, he won’t but he would definitely be more bearable on a Saturday. Jack ran out of steam late in the game and got stranded on 15.

Dave Hosgood has been magnificent this season but this Saturday was just not his day as he was first off losing nine.

Chris Greenhill continued to show how he is improving and developing with every senior game, a couple of decisions though cost him 8 shots and robbed him of a big away win. Chris though bowled well and still came of winning to 16.

The lights dim, a drum rolls, a shadow steps to the green a spotlight pics out the figure casting its light on nothing but the frame of Wiggy. The music plays the crowd goes wild It..... is....... Wiggly time.

Reason number 6 the Moseley excommunicated Wiggy - He runs up bad woods. Really, really bad woods. He ran this one wood up, past the jack and he is still stamping and shouting his bowl onwards, past his first wood it goes still stamping and waving his arms, it jumps the pit through the fence and goes into Queslett road east, Wiggy all this time is still stamping away. Wigg finally admits defeat on his wood when confronted by an angry man who only seconds earlier was on a on a motobility scooter, he is now in ward 10 of good hope. Wiggy went to visit him but missed and ended up in ward 13 of east Birmingham. “My weight my be crap but I have good road” quipped Wiggy. Nobody laughed.

After 4 we were 11 down.

For the first time this year I took to the green replacing a losing card and facing a real need to get a win. Not for the first time though I looked amazing - I am not saying I was colourful but I was mistaken for 3 hanging baskets, a hydrangea and Timmy mallet, . My return match with Norman followed much the same pattern as last weeks and I managed to get a run at the end of the game to win 16.

JP was hot on my heels with another much needed W for the team. JP has found winning ways now his load has been lightened and he is only bringing 300 cobs to the game instead of the 3000 he had been providing.

Richie is still trying to work out what his woods are going to do next but usually his quality overcomes such a hindrance. On this day and this green, however, figuring them out just wasn’t possible. A late rally though brought his score up to 9 and kept us in with a fighting chance.

Alan was bowling well and the refrain well bowled Allan Lad could be heard. Thankfully for us this was a Shane performance from Alan rather than a Salty O’Rourke one and Savo wrestled back momentum with a win to 12.

After 8 we were 5 down.

Jaymo went on at number 11 but was hurtling through his game and, but for a stunning shot from his opposite number at 20-3 up, would have been taking the 21-4 sweep. Chris was once again imperious, consistently battering the block senseless and eventually his opponent into submission. Chris wins 7 and claims the normal sweep. Scott groans.

Scotty was on number twelve and the Scottaissance continued to gather pace. Scott once again proved when the pressure is on he can pull a performance from the fire winning comfortably to 10. When the pressure is off he still sucks though. With Scott's winning shot we went 20 up and the game was won. We did however have two players left on the green that we wanted to bring home.

Bucko hasn’t started the season on form and again found him self behind, he couldn’t find a way back in this week though but still battled for every shot and reached 15 which wasn’t really looking possible early in his game.

Chris Downes showed more than a few glimpses of his old class picking up 16 in a good quality game.

So an excellent performance a first for the tavern and another 3 points towards our goal.

I must thank our supporters, Leslie and Julie who come every week, mark cards and cheer the side on. Leslie also makes sure my adding up is correct and ensures I collect something resembling the money I am meant to. A big Thanks to Dave Hughes, who has taken weekend of from learning to be a Yorkshire man to come and lend us his experience and vocal chords, the flat cap and ferrets have to go though Dave. Finally thanks this week go to the Downes clan who provided a wall of sound Phil Spector would have been jealous of. Dodge, if you bring them every week you won’t have to worry about form or results you will be number 1 on the team sheet.

Oh and a special treat for Dr Zeus fans - a Pratt in a Hat

Heart of England Cup

Both sides played in the cup last night and both sides were successful.

One result of note was a certain Club Captain winning 0 - yes, 0 - on Ye Olde Knowle. We left his poor opponent gently sobbing and staring vacantly at his woods.

We tried to record a video of the booming Zumba class next door but there was a bloody great hedge in the way!

Here for your delectation is a picture of Lloydy. At least I think it is - this was taken by Crags from the roof of the village hall where he was watching Zumba!

Wiggly time.

Wednesday Superleague, Wiggy wins 10

Nothing else matters - the end.

No 2 in an occasional series - Where's Bucko

The big interview 2

God help us! What on earth is in store this time!

Tuesday night at the Foden Palladium

The East Birmingham team paid a visit to The Foden tonight, and after last weeks resounding home win hopes were high for a repeat. 

Actually, that's a horrendous first sentence - right off Sky Sports News. Mind you, it would sound better if it was coming from Kirsty Gallagher rather than me.

The Foden play on the top green at The Beaufort, and although it has it's issues it's an interesting green. Hopefully they can keep improving it and keep progressing as a club.

By the way, please excuse Crag's finger on the lense. The iPad is a bit advanced for the poor little fella.

With 3 single figure wins - Karen James,Steve Myatt and A N Other the stars - and the losers battling to good scores the team had an impressive win.

Here we see Savo reeling in horror at being dragged all the way to Stechford for a b@@@@@king!

Above we can see the poor lady who played A N Other - Steve and Karen can't bring themselves to make eye contact.

Another team win in a decent season so far - let's see if we can keep the momentum going guys and girls

Bobs Full house

This post isn’t about a rare sighting of 80’s quiz show bobs full house, it is something even rarer than that. The Olton Tavern have all 12 winners at home on a day when conditions weren’t really favourable for the home team. I was thinking how we were handicapped without our tall languid left handed trouble maker Jack Savage, as it turns out maybe we just perform better without the inbetweeners star calling everyone a bender or a stroker or whatever language these kids come up with nowadays.

The first four started with the familiar face of Larry Goodridge, who is apparently our longest serving active member - or nearly active member. Still Lassie, sorry, Larry, continues to be one of our most dependable players starting things off with a solid 21-15 card.

The Wiz continues to prove himself much better value than Michael Jacksons 1978 folly with another impressive performance in winning 13

Scott’s return to somewhere approaching top form is following the well worn path of redemption - man was decent, man ceases to be decent, man moans about once being decent, man moans about never being decent, man moans. Eventually, man mans up and stops moaning for more than one end every five and unsurprisingly becomes decent. Scott wins 7

Chris finished of the first four today and we didn’t see much of the temper or his killer reputation this week as he raced into a lead and getting himself in the winning position twice, before finding himself 20 Across and a six inch bowl to beat. Luckily for us Chris pulled out a special bowl when needed and I can’t believe I am going to say this about Dexter but more Killer instinct please Hannibal.

After 4 29 up.

I took up the number five position and hit the green when most people were about 5 across. I had a nip and tuck gamer with Norman and felt a taped mark of 18 metres 99 centimetres may cost me but 16-15 against found a tricky mark and managed to finish of with the win to 16.

King of the Cob JP did what he had threatened to do in his previous performances and cut loose with a high quality performance winning to 7.

Richie stormed into a lead and looked set for a big win. His opponent, however, stuck in there and turned the tables in the second half of the game. Richie though pulled it out at the end - not literally of course - winning to 17.

After a rough couple of weeks where wounding defeats were inflicted in losses to the Raven, Savlon healed those wounds and looked a new man winning 11.

62 up after 8

Bucko started the game as if he was bowling around 20 days before the floods receded and Noah poked his head from the Ark. At 15 -5 down it wasn’t looking good for buck but once he worked the weight out a series of consistent leads brought him back into the game and once within striking distance the confidence returned and Buck ran out to 18.

On his seasons debut in the first team Dodge came up against a lady on fire. Dodge though worked hard to contain his opponent and at the business end came up with 3 great shots in a row to take the game 18.

Chris James did what Chris Does and quietly went about breaking down his opponent, narrowly missing out on the 21-4 sweep(which roles over for a second time)with a 21-5 victory.


By this time Wiggly was left all alone on the green and was cantering to a big win. As we know by now, all of life itself is about Wiggy so it was with genuine glee he stood there the centre of attention. Reason 5 the Moseley released wiggy from his contract – He has no bottle. With all eyes on wig the wheels came of. He can maintain he was bowling hard marks as much as he likes but with seven ends played out before a capacity crowd all singing his name, the quality if i am being polite plummeted like a dead sparrow. 7 turgid ends of missed line, terrible weight and the occasional wrong bias bowl saw Wiggy lose his "only game on the green" show down 4-3. Thankfully one of wigs woods hit a bump on the crown sending it back on line and correcting his pace to leave him with game shot and a win to 10.

Overall score +94

A really good performance by the team and one that has earned this twelve a shot at the away fixture, I believe that this side can do the job next week and have faith in all 12 do not let me down. Jacko is very unlucky not to regain his place but that will teach him to go to the seaside and not bring me any rock back and in general being a nause. Seriously though Jack will return for the marsh lane games so please be warned someone will be losing there place and a win might not be enough to save you this coming weekend.

The Alliance side had a long Journey to Handsworth to play against the Gardeners club at Lea Hall. The following are a set of "action" shots taken by club photographer Cilla and Junior Captain CJ. Most of CJ's pictures have been rejected as they were of him.

The Big interview

The first in a series (Oh yes, you are all getting one of these) so let's enjoy Jack's opinions on the situation in the Ukraine and the deepening socio-economic divisions that plague the world today

Oh my, it's such a big one

Sorry for the delay this week faithful readers - three late nights and three games in three days really takes it out of you at my age :-(


On Tuesday we played host to the Foden B at home. The only record of this game is a faded photo, found hidden at the back of the filing cabinet in the club house. I can only imagine that it was hidden because it shows that Chris Greenhill is regularly capable of the ruthlessness that he displayed last Saturday. I'm told half of Hodge Hill is in fear of it's life

"All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna kill him. Any sumbitch takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, but I'm gonna kill his wife. All his friends. Burn his damn house down".

Scary man is Chris.............

Wednesday saw us play our first game of the Super League season. Yes, you heard me, the first game. Captain Wiggy had problems picking from the 87 bowlers available so the team had a familiar look to it. Again, there are no photo's (God know's where official photographer Cilla was) but you all know what the Olton looks like by now. Anyway, the team won relatively easily against the British Oak B with a full house of winners.

Thursday started well as Rocky gave me a tour of the plants that he has been using to prettify the surrounds. He has done a fine job, and even Jamo has got involved with a plant of his own

The game itself passed without much incident. Well, no more than usual when you play against a team for whom most of them the rules are another country :-) Heart of England B win against Solihull Marsh lane by 30 odd. I was too busy taking pictures of plants to worry about the score - and I won so who cares!

The A team faced the short trip to Stoke Prior. I was sorry to miss this as I haven't played the green but Crags, in his inimitable style, told me that "you didn't !"£$%^& miss much!". See, everyone thinks i'm the angry and rude one, but if i'm Harry Percy in Henry the IVth part 1, Crags is definitely Richard the III. The words "Why, I can smile and murder whiles I smile,
And cry 'content' to that which grieves my heart,
And wet my cheeks with artificial tears,
And frame my face for all occasions"

have never suited anyone more than Craig Taylor.

Back to the game, and Craigs new partner in crime turns out to be Cat Crane, who in a despicable, appalling and reprehensible act sat and stuffed her face with grub whilst the rest of the team went without. Plaintive cries of "Please Cat, just one chip!" were met with scornful laughs and the scattering of crumbs on the floor. Craig said that he was ashamed that he and the rest of the team fought for the crumbs like animals, but being a swine himself he is secretly proud of Cat. It turns out she is on the committee now, so god help us all!

No pic of the board again, but there is a tasteful wide angle shot

David Bailey would be rolling in his grave, if he were dead.

A visit to the 5th Circle of Hell

The day started in nervous fashion as all were huddled together, listening to Dave Hosgood's pre-FM radio waiting for a goal that none of us really held out much hope for. Just as we were starting to head to the Raven the goal went in, everything stopped for a split moment before pandemonium - people were jumping around, beer was spilling, and Gilly was making sure none of it reached the floor. In the sheer jubilation a miscommunication occurred and we left Chris “Curlyfry, tiny tim, tinie tempah, mini Scott, Mini Wig” Greenhill rolling up.

At the raven the sun was shining, but the green was dull and heavy and an ominous atmosphere oppressed all who entered.

Larry was first up but he was no lamb to the slaughter. After a tight beginning to the game Larry toook 7 on the bounce to crack the game open and win 15.

Scotty had moved up the order after having played 3 meaningless games so far at 12 and responded in bullish fashion with a swift win to 5.

Dave Hosgood was paired against Mario, a bowler we know can put in a big card on his home green, and at 9- 2 it looked like he may well do it. The Wiz however isn’t called the Wiz because he lives at the end of the yellow brick road. Dave started playing some real high quality stuff and ended up coming off first winning to 11.

The Wig rounded out the first four with a good win to 8 stretched out over an epic 37 ends. Reason number 4 Wigg was excommunicated from Moseley – It is all about Wiggy. From bowling in peoples way because only he is allowed to bowl there, to running his wood up screaming and shouting only to run back to the mat and run it up again as someone wasn’t watching. Every single minute of every single day is Wwiggy time. Can I have a lift to the Bowls JP? Can I have a lift to the Raven? Can I have a lift home? Can you carry me to the front door I am tired? Can you tuck me in and read me a bedtime story? Did you see that shot in the 13th end when it did this and that and how nice was my hair today? Yes life is all about the Wigg. If Wigg wasn’t there it never happened. The Titanic never sank, there have been no world wars and fire wasn’t invented until Wigg turned the gas fire on.

After four we were 45 up.

With the changes to the order I found my way on at number 5. The game wasn’t pretty but good lord I looked colourful. The game featured a plethora of twos and I flopped across the line winning 15.

JP the earl of sandwich wasn’t completely satisfied by his game but with his opponent playing well ground out every shot to prevent the Raven gaining any momentum with a hard earned 17. In all honesty if john had played any of the other 5 before he would have won comfortably.

Richie rocked up at 7 and rocked off winning to ten in short order.

It was about this time the increasingly stupid shouts from the home team turned desperate and with a back drop of in team arguing lines were being crossed left right and center.

Chris Greenhill, who by this time had arrived, was another to play a sensible tidy game to keep things tight narrowly losing to 18. After coming of the normally sweet natured young lad listened to the apparition on the wrong shoulder and threatened a bloody and terrible revenge on anyone in a 100 yard radius.

After 8 the diff was 55

Buck went on 9 and found his opponent bowling too well but battled gamely up to 10.

Savo’s fractious game was spilling over into Jacks but after a round of insults were exchanged Captain Craggers stepped into the situation like the diplomatic colossus he is and defused all the tensions as everyone showered him with love and returned to the game.

Savo finished his game with 15.

Chris James found a mark he liked and bowled superbly as always and surviving a brief rally closed the game out to 11.

Jack finished the game off finding a nice rhythm to win 12 and leave us with a 57 shot win.

I have learnt a few things today:

1) Jack and Savo on together in the back four possibly wasn’t my wisest order choice and;

2) The tavern love blowing things up into a good Myth within minutes.

By the time we had got back to the Olton I had lead a marauding troop of Viking invaders that pillaged the raven and burnt the club and pub to the ground. Wiggy had offered out the whole of Shard End and fought them all one by one, eventually standing atop a hill of native Shard Enders (I'm sure there is a Genesis joke you could have made there) and Scott had become some mythical Celtic warrior that eats children. Strange really when you consider we really when we are a bunch of Solihull softies.

So a small War and a 57 shot win - onwards and upwards. Next week we welcome Chis Downes back into the A team and I am hoping his sober level headedness can play ying to the rest of the teams raging yang. I am also a dead cert to win the euro millions and have Scarlett Johansson declare her undying love for me.

The Alliance team won at home 70/80ish. No picture of the board but I have included a small section of Action shots taken by Cilla

Dave gracefully models the new team headware

Lowey and Gilly cruelly laughing at someones end

The game comfortably won, the spectators turn to impressions of teapots

Northern invasion

Crag's first effort at a video - bless him

Not about bowls but......

I've not been down the Blues for some years, but we could do with this man tomorrow....

Midweek Round Up

Hello Fans, a slightly delayed post this week but forgive me - I'm not as young as I used to be and the old fingers are creaking.

A brief mention of the East Birmingham game on Tuesday night. Whilst Bayern Munich were tika taking themselves to oblivion at the Allianz Arena, Ward End Social were being expertly dissected by the superior skills of the OTBC at Solihull's premier bowling venue. A large home win for the team means two out of two in the league.

Oh, and this is how you mark a card........

On to Thursday night where The A team entertained a decent Moseley Team and the B team were at Woodbourne. As i'd never played at Woodbourne I wangled a place in the B team so that I could see what I'd been missing the last 25 years. As an aside, that's only 4 (or maybe 5) greens that are currently competing in the Warwick and Worcester that I haven't played on.

The A team game was difficult by all accounts, with two bad cards and the Club Captain losing his first game of the season after losing his woods. The fact that they were lost in the boot of his car - in the car park - of the pub - by the bowling green - by which he was standing and moaning - probably says more about him than I can adequately elucidate here!!

Anyway, I was at Woodbourne with the B team and after a five minute roll up you can tell what a great green it is. As it is technically hollow in a trough along its width, I suppose it is a two crown green, but when one takes up 50% of the green and the other about 45% I can see why it is famed for being such a tricky green when it runs.

The pictures don't do it justice, but here they are anyway.

The final result was a relatively easy win but that isn't the point. Its a great green with a lovely setup and some lovely people but, like most clubs, fielding teams is an ever more difficult job. Several of the team were novices, however, so there is a way forward for clubs that actively try and introduce new blood into the game.

Thanks to the Woodbourne for their hospitality, and I hope its not another 25 years before I get to play there again.