Queslett? Queslett?

What exactly is a Queslett? A quick Google search informs me that its an area in Great Barr, although I think even I could have guessed that. The second entry informed me it means wood pigeon valley and has been in use since the sixteenth century. Of course Bucko and CJ should both remember when the area was so named as they would have been at school around then. The third entry simply read “ A bugger of a green”. As the game was a tight affair no-one thought to get their camera out for any action shots :-( The pictures sprinkled throughout this report come from the Google Image search for "Queslett"

The Olton Tavern record on the Queslett is something akin to a Max Bygraves song, the history of the Villa or one of CJ’s stories – no one wants to hear them. Combined with the green, unseasonal sunshine and their over 200 plus from the last 2 home games a lot of the team were not hopeful of victory. I however had and have faith in this group of men.

The day started badly when Larry goodridge informed me he wouldn’t be able to play. Apparently the tablets he has been taking have had the terrible side effect of turning him into Jack Douglas. Every time he bent down to bowl he would shout wahey and his arm would spasm. I told Larry he would still be better than the named reserve but he wasn’t having any of it. So with no Jack Douglas I turned to another Jack unfortunately this Jack has the bowling ability of Jack Duckworth, I wished he dressed like him though as the dresses would be an improvement over the painful semi naked snap chats he sends me.

I threw Jack straight on and all was going well until he sobered up. If jack showed more self restraint and discipline the night before a game and practised more humility he may well become the bowler he wants to be. Well, no, he won’t but he would definitely be more bearable on a Saturday. Jack ran out of steam late in the game and got stranded on 15.

Dave Hosgood has been magnificent this season but this Saturday was just not his day as he was first off losing nine.

Chris Greenhill continued to show how he is improving and developing with every senior game, a couple of decisions though cost him 8 shots and robbed him of a big away win. Chris though bowled well and still came of winning to 16.

The lights dim, a drum rolls, a shadow steps to the green a spotlight pics out the figure casting its light on nothing but the frame of Wiggy. The music plays the crowd goes wild It..... is....... Wiggly time.

Reason number 6 the Moseley excommunicated Wiggy - He runs up bad woods. Really, really bad woods. He ran this one wood up, past the jack and he is still stamping and shouting his bowl onwards, past his first wood it goes still stamping and waving his arms, it jumps the pit through the fence and goes into Queslett road east, Wiggy all this time is still stamping away. Wigg finally admits defeat on his wood when confronted by an angry man who only seconds earlier was on a on a motobility scooter, he is now in ward 10 of good hope. Wiggy went to visit him but missed and ended up in ward 13 of east Birmingham. “My weight my be crap but I have good road” quipped Wiggy. Nobody laughed.

After 4 we were 11 down.

For the first time this year I took to the green replacing a losing card and facing a real need to get a win. Not for the first time though I looked amazing - I am not saying I was colourful but I was mistaken for 3 hanging baskets, a hydrangea and Timmy mallet, . My return match with Norman followed much the same pattern as last weeks and I managed to get a run at the end of the game to win 16.

JP was hot on my heels with another much needed W for the team. JP has found winning ways now his load has been lightened and he is only bringing 300 cobs to the game instead of the 3000 he had been providing.

Richie is still trying to work out what his woods are going to do next but usually his quality overcomes such a hindrance. On this day and this green, however, figuring them out just wasn’t possible. A late rally though brought his score up to 9 and kept us in with a fighting chance.

Alan was bowling well and the refrain well bowled Allan Lad could be heard. Thankfully for us this was a Shane performance from Alan rather than a Salty O’Rourke one and Savo wrestled back momentum with a win to 12.

After 8 we were 5 down.

Jaymo went on at number 11 but was hurtling through his game and, but for a stunning shot from his opposite number at 20-3 up, would have been taking the 21-4 sweep. Chris was once again imperious, consistently battering the block senseless and eventually his opponent into submission. Chris wins 7 and claims the normal sweep. Scott groans.

Scotty was on number twelve and the Scottaissance continued to gather pace. Scott once again proved when the pressure is on he can pull a performance from the fire winning comfortably to 10. When the pressure is off he still sucks though. With Scott's winning shot we went 20 up and the game was won. We did however have two players left on the green that we wanted to bring home.

Bucko hasn’t started the season on form and again found him self behind, he couldn’t find a way back in this week though but still battled for every shot and reached 15 which wasn’t really looking possible early in his game.

Chris Downes showed more than a few glimpses of his old class picking up 16 in a good quality game.

So an excellent performance a first for the tavern and another 3 points towards our goal.

I must thank our supporters, Leslie and Julie who come every week, mark cards and cheer the side on. Leslie also makes sure my adding up is correct and ensures I collect something resembling the money I am meant to. A big Thanks to Dave Hughes, who has taken weekend of from learning to be a Yorkshire man to come and lend us his experience and vocal chords, the flat cap and ferrets have to go though Dave. Finally thanks this week go to the Downes clan who provided a wall of sound Phil Spector would have been jealous of. Dodge, if you bring them every week you won’t have to worry about form or results you will be number 1 on the team sheet.

Oh and a special treat for Dr Zeus fans - a Pratt in a Hat