Sunday 25 May 2014

The Diary of Karen James aged 13 and three quarters

(This post has been translated from the original scouse by your editor - unfortunately it was beyond even me to make it funny!)

Row row row ya bowl gently down the green, merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream - yes it was a very strange day around the green at Triplex.

We experienced light rain, sunshine, a little heavier rain then more sunshine and, just as the last couple were on the green, we had a final downpour but all in all with good bowling and great company we had a good day.

After a delay of half an hour our first four set out for battle.

Cat was our number one and was up against their averages leader and he was also fourth in the league averages. Cat played well with true Olton grit and lost to five.

Eddie our number two played a lovely young lady but Eddies focus and determination brought him a great win to nine.

Number three was Bob and he battled through not giving an inch and was beaten to 18 - a great game to watch.

Alan our number four struggled to get his length in the beginning (poor lad) but once he was back in his stride he fought hard only to lose twenty.

It was about this time that the heavens opened again - Oh! the joys of the English Summer, and the second four were not relishing the thought of going on to play.

Next was Messiah Steve who played well and won to twelve and we were closing the gap between our rivals.

Maureen had a good game losing to eleven but the score didn't reflect the game.

After being stalked on his phone all morning by team mates needing confirmation that we had a game to play, good old CJ put his age to one side and brought us another win to twenty.

As the green was getting slippier by the minute we were surprised to see a Boeing 747 had landed on the green - then everyone realised that it was Karen (Boeing? If it was Karen you should all have been booing! Ed) - in an effort to remove a bowl out of the line of another she inadvertently slipped and landed heavily on the green in all the lovely puddles. She arose with a red face and very soggy bottom - A Triplex spokesperson said that they may name the new dent in the green Jaymo's hole - Fame at last for Karen - grassy ass sorry spell check said it should be Gracias.


After the shock and turbulance Karen won to eleven.

We were now two in front on the board with the last four starting to filter on to the green - omg.... we got a chance here.... come on your Taverner's

John Lloyd lost to eighteen having a tough battle with his opponent.

Dave Lowe won to eleven and we needed it to bring up the energy levels for the remaining players.

Pete Greenhill after a rocky start stomped home to win to eighteen and we still had a chance of bringing home the win.

Last man standing was Paul Buckley. His opponent was hungry for the win knowing how close the match was and Paul was struggling to get his hands on that block.

There was a hush around the green and a whisper that Paul needed to get one more chalk for the draw and two for the win - omg.... omg..... cilla needed to calm down but was struggling to hold back her excitement.... COME ON YOU TAVERNER'S

He got the first one and we were sure that the second would follow but it was not to be, we needed to go another end of torment and as the end progressed and Pauls bowl settled and we realised that he had got it, there was a roar around the green because we had achieved our goal - Hooraaaaahhhhh

Now we just wanted Paul to leave the green a winner but that was not to be as the heavens once again opened with no mercy which was followed by hail stones and the green was flooded.

Not to soon after Paul came off the green losing to sixteeen.



Game finished on the night shift at 18:50hrs and our troups were exhausted.... from jumping up and down in the joyous feeling of victory.


4 comments:

  1. never been so cold wet but elated

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  2. Yes even I was feeling the chill lol

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  3. Not sure i'm loving the Booing mr editor

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  4. Keep up the good work, there will be a best seller here soon. Great reading !

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