Friday night lights and The Coward of the Olton

Apologies for the lack of Blog Posts this last week - I've had a very busy time but it's hopefully a tad quieter now. I'll return this blog post to Captain Craggers who is approximately 1oz lighter today.

The weekend started with the premier B cup against the Old Cross at Boldmere St Michaels. With the confusion over the draw and its late posting - and with no opponents at ten past seven - we feared the worst. Just as I was seeking clarification on what we do next the Old Cross rumbled through the door and the game was on. Our opponents had an inexperienced side and our first four took full advantage with two wins to six and two wins to ten. Dave Hosgood's opponent is on record as saying what a good bowler the Wiz is. That is the first person to join the Dave Hosgood fan club and gets a badge and a quarterly news letter. The back four featured some of the Cross regulars and was a much tighter affair with the opposition pulling 7 shots back leaving the total winning margin of 45 shots. Thank you to Boldmere for leaving such a great surface to play on - if you are reading Swannie, that is how you do it ;)

With a late pull out Lord Lowe of Olton was called in For his first senior game of the year and his first game with me for 15 years. No one should be denied the honour and pleasure of playing with me for that long. As the game began the sun beat down on the sun trap of the Green man, people were sat on deck chairs with handkerchiefs and the bowlers at the bottom end of the green appeared through the heat haze like Anthony Quinn and Omar Sharif appearing to Lawrence of Arabia. Just with fewer camels.


(For those who don't know what a Green Man is, this is a Green Man - Ed)

Larry Goodridge continued his consistent run of form, bowling solidly to take the opening game to 17.

I got stuck on ten for what seemed to be an eternity before regaining the block and winning to 16.

Dave Hosgood didn’t add to his fan club but did battle back from well down to finish with 17 and was left kicking himself and anyone within distance for not finishing the game off. After 3 we were 5 up.

Wiggly, who complains I never put his score on here, won 21 – 19 . Reason 9 that Wiggy was jettisoned from the Moseley - he is a coward who lies to try and get himself a better draw. I asked Wigg if he was okay to go first 3, he replied “ of course Cap Anything for the team” he wandered into the club house took one look at the cards which Pete had left lying around then runs out to me shouting “ Cap! Cap! Can I not go on first 3 I need a poop (bad language removed - Ed)and I may be sometime” Sorry wiggly I said astounded at what I was hearing “ yes boss, I have a bad stomach and the turtles head is poking through something fierce” Ok Wigg Whatever you can go on number four just get your self to the bathroom now. I had just completed the draw when wiggy arrives back, full of the joys of spring and, ooooooooohh half an ounce lighter, after a pit stop quicker than Lewis Hamilton can manage. Fortunately for us, Kenny Rogers was playing today so could sing him his new theme tune. More on Kenny later.



or, you may prefer this version






Jack Savage was at five after complaining I usually play five and have won all my games. Jack played well but found my opponent from last week just to strong for him. Jack was confused to have found his bowls pegging for the first time since he bought them but bowled well for a good solid fourteen against a dangerous player.

Dave Lowe is a force of nature - he has a false arm which is his bowling arm, a dodgy ticker, two glass eyes and only half a buttock. When he is needed though somehow he always pulls it out. 8-1 down against a very good home bowler the adrenaline kicked in, which is great for his bowling but probably less so though for his heart. Lowey was amazing - the man is a natural on a bowls green coming of winning to 14 and cancelling out Jacks card. After 6 we were now 7 up.

JP started slowly as Bouncy Bob Freeman raced into a nine nil lead, JP though kept on plugging away, working his way up to a good 12 and keeping us in contention.

Rocky Rogers was next up playing his away debut for the seniors. After serenading wiggy with the coward of the county, he sang his way through Lucille, ruby and an encore of the Gambler twice as he ran out from 15 13 down to win and nudge us back into the lead. It was a great performance from Rocky to follow up on another good performance last night, again on a green new to him.

Savo Had a very Savo game. His opponent hadn’t shown up and his replacement scored the first end and claimed the nil was on. Savo promptly went 13-4 up before the wheels fell off, 64 pints of Ubu combined with baking sun took it’s toll. Savo tried his best but couldn’t find the mark at all but 3 late shots could have proved vital leaving the back 3 two shots adrift.

I was always confident my back 3 would earn a plus and Chris Downes was straight out of the gates with a stunning performance 21- 5.

That left Jaymo and Scotty needing 14 apiece and Jaymo was 15-7 down. Chris though showed all his quality, more than making his shots finishing with 16.

Scotty meanwhile from five across stepped up a gear with his best performance for a while consistently beating 6 inch woods to leave his opponent on 10 and the game never looking in danger. The final score was 222 201 a victory by 21 with 7 winners. With Richie and Killer missing this week plus Parks county star Bucko who will be pushing for a recall after his holiday hopefully we can only continue to improve as the season continues.