Monday 14 July 2014

Hailing from Death Valley................

Saturdays haven’t been the same since I acquired snap chat. This week in honour of black country day Jack sent me a picture of his right faggot. No body is going to be eating them with peas tonight I can guarantee that. I have since tried uninstalling it from my phone but it has a mind of its own, its like the TV in poltergeist it just keeps turning itself back on. Every time I think I’m rid of it I get a beep and 8 seconds of a half naked Jack Savage.


The other app I am having trouble with this week is the MET office who had convinced me Saturday was going to be dull and cloudy all day, when really they meant burning sunshine all day with spots of rain at ten and film at eleven. With the sun beating down I had managed to prepare my self mentally for the shocking display of legs that would be protruding from various length of trouser. Nothing however would prepare me for the shocking neon purple laces Dave Lowe had in his designer plimsolls, it looked like someone had shot, skinned and torn barney into strips. Thank god Darcy and Dexter didn’t show up until he had gone.

The horrendous heat had turned the Olton suntrap into something akin to death valley or the cricket square at Trent bridge. We had steer skulls protruding from the ground, tumbleweed slowly drifting by and an epic batting collapse before tea.


The green was as quick as I can remember and certainly the tavern hasn’t moved like that this century, but as yet we don’t have the epic cracks of the late nineties although there is an odd rutting in front of the club house. It is reminiscent of a George foreman grill so if Dave or Gilly have been cooking fry-up’s on the crown would they kindly stop or add hash browns to mine.

The Pheasant were the visitors this week and despite both sides being a few short from their best 12’s it promised to be a high quality affair.

The first four got of to a flyer with Larry Goodridge in imperious form. His opponent bowled some excellent stuff to make a comeback but it was to no avail as Larry’s form didn’t drop as he won to 11

Dave Hosgood also got of to a flyer settling on a good weight early and resisting a late fight back to win 13.

Jack took the opposite route to a victory as he started with a terrible run and was left 7 nil down and scratching his head. It seems that the splinters he now had from the scratching helped to focus him though as he found a tricky mark and won to 10.

I played Alan Cooke who definitely won best shorts with a lovely pick number, on the green though I managed to win 13.

So after 4 we were 37 up

Chris Greenhill was on at five. He had been going a dangerous looking red colour in the sun before the game and during the match things just got redder and redder. It was a bad day at the office for Chris and the speed of the green was definitely an eye opener for him. Tony Abbey though has to be given great credit as he bowled brilliantly throughout rarely giving Chris room to breathe.

JP had already gained the club shots my feeding jack and making sure he had enough energy to get to the green. Maybe there is something in those cobs though as John found himself 20 -14 down before putting a fine run together and winning to 20.

Richie never really settled but fought hard to keep on his partners heels never letting him get away before eventually losing to 20.

Rocky was another to have a close game with neither player ever getting a significant lead, rocky falling just short on 19.

After 8 the gap had closed to 23.

Savo continued his run of close but no cigar matches with a solid 16. Sav has spent the whole season cajoling people into a potential Sunday morning side as its the only day he doesn’t play at least once. Next week he gets the chance to play on a Sunday afternoon lets hope its to his liking.

Who dat? who dat? W. I.G.G.Y. I have recently been annoyed by crap rapper Iggy Azalea - maybe there is something about names ending in iggy that make people a pain in the back side. At least he hasn’t started dressing like her as that would be off putting. Reason number 15 Wiggins no longer has a key to Moseley - he is a clumsy oaf. The delightful duo of Darcy and Dexter visited us and proved that - thankfully - they take after there mother. They were beautifully behaved all afternoon with no problems tantrums or tears, that was until Wiggly dropped his woods on Darcy’s foot. On the bowling front though Wig continues to impress bowling a very hard mark well for his victory.

Chris downes managed to bounce back from his performance last week and with an evening of the Jameson’s put in a sterling effort to win 14

Scotty brought up the rear with the game secure and while both he and Allan bemoaning their consistency the game was a quality one with Scott another to duck out to 19.

A winning margin of 42 with seven winners two 19’s and a twenty is a really good performance against a side who probably would have turned last years side over comfortably. Still a lot of work to do for us to get where we want to be but this was a good test against a good side. If we can keep building, improving and growing the squad hopefully we can continue on our journey.


We will end this post with another in our series of "Alliance Action Shots", captioned by the clubs resident (only) humorous author.

Dave the Butcher can be seen here, stalking his bowl like its a pack of Bacon. Strangely, Allan Hemming appears to be watching from the side - how can he be in two places at once??




















Here we see Bucko, preparing for his part time role as Mr Gumby in the new Monty Python show at the O2




Resident postman John Lloyd, trying to decide if taking a short cut down the gully and across the hedge will take 7 minutes of his route.





















Henry, called to the green at number 11, decides that discretion is the better part of valour so hides in a bush.




















And finally, the scoreboard. No jokes, just a good effort.



1 comment:

  1. My daughter has told me to tell you that her name is spelt Darcie. She also added that you were a nanny nut nuts that I don't think is a compliment. Wiggy

    ReplyDelete