A sluggish start, the milk tray man and the real reason The wig was released from his Moseley contract........

As dictated by the first team captain, all hail him in his resplendence

The first game came round a little to early for my liking - with no real midweek games and with the weather not encouraging practice we were not expecting an easy match. How rusty some of the performances were though was a little surprising so lets hope the game has filed down the rough edges, buffed out any scratches and polishes what wasn’t quite a turd of a performance.

For the first game of the season at home in overcast damp conditions on a green where 60+ is traditionally a massive victory, then 24 shots and never in danger has to go down as a solid start. With Richie to come back in and quality players like Dodge waiting in the wings then better things will be expected in the near future.

The game started quickly for Solihull’s finest when Jack “of few trades master of less” Savage took to the green. Buoyed by a lady friend and dressed like he was about to deliver her chocolates, Jack's short straight marks proved to be deceptively easy and flummoxed his opponent winning 21-2. This also meant Jack picked up over fifty pounds in the 21-4 sweep. I think he has earmarked spending the money on another Basildon Bond outfit.

Next off was Club Captain Crags who, after a slow start, found a bit of form towards the middle of the game to run out winning 21-9.

Call him Mint jelly cus he’s on the lamb! Larry got away with murder fighting back from well down to win 21-20

Finishing off the first four was Dave Hosgood who never really got a run with the block but battled on for 13. The first four left us 22 up

The second four got underway with our debutant John Price. John did well on his home debut, getting to grips with the game early and winning to 16.

This started a little Tavern wobble with Chris (Rigsby) Greenhill oh woe is me'ing on his way to 11, Henry in as a late replacement for Ritchie fighting hard against an on fire opponent to reach 14 and Chris James getting stuck after a bright start and losing to 19. After 8 we were 8 up but with two cards going well already on the green we felt comfortable.

The last four began with dad of milk tray man Alan Savage who elegantly displayed Jack's one work cast-offs - boxers included. Alan raced into a 15 -5 lead but again was another to be pegged back at the death winning to 15. Wig proved men can multitask by winning 6 and offering to suck it off for bucko, he claims he was talking about his opponents woods but I have my doubts. Bucko started of slowly and was in need of Wigs help, he rallied however to finish with 18. In Bucko land though we are now 50 up and he won to two.

Back in Solihull Scotty is battling not only a gentleman in fine form, he was fighting his own lack of confidence, form, concentration and the Smelter Demon from Dark Souls Two

He defeated the smelter demon, levelled up his souls, managed to hold his confidence steady, improved his form moderately all while his concentration veered wildly and resembled a Uni student desperate to finish his dissertation while sat in a beer garden that is showing the football, giving away free beer and has the Dallas cowboys cheerleaders dancing on the table. Scotty finishes with 17 and the final four adding 16 shots to the plus left us with a winning margin of 24 (not 70 as Buck seems to think)

Many thanks to Forget me Not for a good afternoon and not turning us over, and thanks for the comments on the food - it cost us enough!! :-)