Taxi's and Tosspots

Post written by Captain Craggers and translated into something approaching English by me.


With 5 players going direct Captain Craggers crammed his remaining 7 players and supporters into two of the tiniest cars on the planet and promptly headed to the Forget Me Not. Its an apt name when after five minutes the four in your car all own up to knowing where the forget me not is but not having the foggiest about the route. Luckily we had forced Wiggy to down his pint at the pub and left in plenty of time.

The Forget Me Not is a green most of the side haven’t played much - this was exemplified by Jaymo telling everyone it is quick bowling towards the wall. The look of confusion on peoples faces when they arrived to find no wall was a tad worrying.

First to the green was me, once again drawn against Tony Dale. Tony hasn’t been playing long but has a great temperament, bowls the right shots and is a top bloke to boot. Despite a team mate of his being less than supportive he showed a lot of promise but my experience showed though and got me the win to 11.

Jack “top of the averages” Savage was next on the green. 40 mins and an upset later Jack “middle of the averages” savage came of losing to 14.

Larry Goodridge was number 3 and up against a player with a point to prove having lost to Jack last week. Larry bowled well and battled hard but Jim caught him on a devil of a mark leaving Larry with 16.

Dave Hosgood rebounded from his loss last week with a dominant display winning to 3 and winning the princely sum of £2.50 on the 21-4 sweep. After 4 we were 16 to the good.

The second four started with Mr Wiggins. We have learnt something recently about Mr. Wiggins, he didn’t leave Moseley he was thrown out after an emergency midnight meeting held on the cricket circle with the Moseley committee all dressed in black cloaks. They discussed the myriad of reasons why Wiggy should be axed then threw some animal bones in the air and trusted the way they fell. Last week we gave you the first reason for Wiggys axing, this week you get number two - Wiggly Cannot judge a running bowl. Wiggly cursed about 20 woods and singlehandedly made our margin of victory closer. Woods that would under normal circumstances stop and count sped up, turned 180 degrees or exploded into flame as soon as Wig says good bowl. So for all you readers reason number two for Wiggins leaving the Moseley, the Wiggins Curse.

He won 14 by the way he was okay.

New boy JP was at six. JP has settled in well since his arrival and now I couldn’t really imagine an Olton team without him. JP was 18 -13 down and looking like he would cancel the wigs card out, but he dug deep into his reserves of intestinal fortitude and clawed his way to 19.

Richie Dingley returned to the fold with a knee so swollen Jack's brain had started orbiting it as the smallest moon in the universe. Richie battled through the pain and avenged H's defeat by Jayne ( who was head and shoulders the best player on display last week) to 14.

Buck rounded out the last four and while his opponent bowled very well Buck was first to admit this performance was more horse manure than ice cream buck, finishing with 3. So after 8 we were now ten up.

The green hills of stranglethorn page 4 was up next (yes that’s a joke that 4 people in the world will get but sod ya). Chris was coming of two bad home results and the pressure being off away seemed to suit him as he raced into a big lead. His lack of experience showed a little as he allowed several two's in a late game wobble but he did however, close the game out to 12 and these things can only help him as the season grinds on.

Savo who only recently was suggesting he can no longer see his hand in front of his face was up next. His blindness explains his odd combination of clothes but does nothing to explain his searing start blowing away the worlds second worse team mate behind tom tom in his win to 10.

Jaymo and Scotty brought the side home in the strange atmosphere of a game already won. Neither player has hit any kind of form yet and Scotty wasn’t showing his famed Ultimate warrior like intensity after having already splurged that chanting the side on earlier and having to put a very rude geezer in his place.



Also he was playing one of the world's nicest men which is always disarming. Jaymo finishing with 14 and Scotty ten leaving us with the winning margin of 12.

A really good team performance but with better form to come from 4 or five of the team including myself then hopefully this is a start we can build on.