Catching up on Mondays

It was a lovely evening as Woodfield welcomed Heath Hayes and tried to banish the thoughts of Saturday’s disappointing home loss with an emphatic victory. Heath Hayes arrived looking resplendent in their blue away tops. Tony “Gunny” Statham though had come in the black home kit. Because of this error The Heath Hayes team, including 84 year old Fred, were forced to Jog from Heath Hayes to Woodfield Heartbreak ridge style. He seems a lovely Man does Tony, but underneath there is a steely heart.

Before the start, Nick tinkered with the order and entered into a pow wow with the team’s elders. It’s nice to see someone making such an effort and not just simply throw them in the air and see how they land.
Ada was drawn against Keith Anderson and bowled superbly throughout the game and even when Keith had beaten Ades woods, Dave Goddard used his Mystical powers to make bowls fall in or out at his behest. Ada won 21-13.

Ian Porter bowled consistently well but could never break the evergreen Fred Statham who appeared none the worse for the cross country run before the game. Ian won 21-13.

Lyndon was distracted as he was enroute to a fancy dress party and he hadn’t had time to sort out an actual costume. On the way in though he had a brain wave! He picked up a pair of shades from the table, slipped them on and asked who we thought he looked like. I think Lyndon was hoping for Tom Cruise in Risky Business, I think he would have accepted Rowdy Roddy Piper in They live but unfortunately he looked like Cousin it from the Adams family. Still at least he has Halloween sorted. Lyndon ran out winning 21-8 against Chris Hayward.

Chris Marshman was always behind against Mac Gittings but once he had realised he was bowling with odd woods he made the necessary adjustments and won a close game 21-20.

The second four started with the real Newey, Nick who was typically excellent in beating Darren Gittings 8.
Nick Wyer and Dave Hayward contested a quality match with Nick edging home 21-18.
I continued my run as the MVP maker and picked up the dubious honour of being the only loser. Gunnery Sargent Tony Statham was excellent and fully deserved his win 21-18.

Nicks Brother J Newey (is it Jim) returned from holiday to beat Colin Hayward 4. The game was afterwards described by John as incredible, adding that Nick would have only got one or two against him. The MVP was nailed on. In fact, so incredible was the performance an invite to the champion of champions has been issued , and is being flown down by winged monkeys as we speak.

It would appear though, that the Heath Hayesians were less impressed and promptly gave Nick Newey the MVP award. Incredulous, the other Newey demanded to know if he was next in line and if Dave had shit in his eyes. Dave listed his order of for MVP:

Nick N, Lyndon, Port, Nick W, Nick N again, ADA, Chris, some bloke called Nick, Dave Goddard, Chuckle, Nicholas N, then the other fella. I thought that was harsh as Dave G should have been higher.

Next Week John has a nefarious plan to finally win the MVP award that has so long been denied him. Next game will see the debut's of our new signings Don Newey, Non Jewey, Bon Newey and Lon Newey. Surely with 5 goes at it and nobody suspecting all these new players are actually all John, the MVP will finally be his once more.