The five faces of Newey

The Woodies welcomed top of the Table Castlefields on Monday in what was always going to be a hard game. Short of of Average leader Nick Wyer and old Treebeard himself Lyndon, however, it was looking a mammoth task.

Talking of the hairy Bowler, whilst at Kings Norton last week I noticed this stamped into the wood of their new shelter. It would appear Lyndon is branding every green he has won on, leaving his name immortalised (even if it is upside down) for all to see. So all you folks out there in the bowls world check your tables and benches now as you could be in possession of a rare stamping.

With the team a few down, John Newey was aghast to find that neither Jon Dewey nor Don Jewey had been selected for tonight’s match. John Immediately leapt behind a bush and began working on a Dick Dastardly style scheme to ensure he wins another MVP that he can frame for his wall of fame.

Here we see John sending poor Craggers to clean the toilets - one less MVP candidate to worry about!

The game started well for us with Nick in imperious from beating Andy Judson four. Nick bowled superbly throughout and it could only be a nefarious Neweyvillian plot that could keep him from MVP.
Chris Marshman was excellent in dispatching Homester Mark Taylor to 15 while Ade managed to scramble to 14 while never really bowling well.

Stuart Jones closed out the first four with a 21-20 victory over Paul Williams in what turned out to be a wonderful match from two classy bowlers and left us 17 shots to the good.
Keith Walton started off like a train against John Newey but the train turned into a British rail one and was shunted into the sidings as Newey number twoey clawed his way back into the match, eventually winning to 15 and supplying us with the buffer that we would need later in the game.

Port was beaten 17 by David Lloyd who quite rightly romped home with the mvp vote before returning to commentate on the cricket. Beating Ian anywhere is a good result beating him on woodfield is a feat for anyone.

Nick Howells succumbed 21-10 to Callum Wraight but Bowled very well. Half the time I looked over he was bowling bosters to count the, other half I thought I was watching a German porno. I have never seen so many faces in the same bush since RTL showed Busch-Bingers eine to vier.

I brought up the rear (steady now) against Clay Flattley who bowled a superb last few ends to win 21-18 and leave us four winners a piece and clinging onto the match win by funf shots.

It was later revealed that John Newey had been awarded MVP. In a totally unrelated incident, Castlefields came rather cramped with supporters in 2 cars between them, when they left they had two each.